Upbringing

I was a fairly spoilt kid.

My parents never denied me anything I asked for as a kid.

You can say I was pretty much pampered most of the time considering that I'm the only child, But I was also taught the value of money and how I should be aware of how much money I'm spending.

You could say that my upbringing was balanced of sorts. I was a responsible kid back then and I can still say that I'm responsible for a lot of things that I do to this day. I'm pretty much happy with the way my parents have raised me. They've taught me to be nice to people, respectful, And not take any bullshit from the ones who are too stupid to argue with.

The only downside to being nice to people is that it won't get you shit. In very rare cases, Being nice will get you people like Chris and Shravan. They are people who actually give a shit about how I feel and what I'm going through. They're the nicest people to have around even tho they look a bit intimidating. I can proudly say that they're my constants in life right now. They are people I would never give up for anyone or anything else.

Like I've said before, Being nice will get you nowhere in life, But in rare cases it will but the chances of that happening are very low. I've been taught to be nice to everyone but look at where I am right now. Life is immensely fucked and it's all because I was being nice, truthful, And transparent with people. I'm fine with losing people who do not want to be in my life but man, It does hurt when someone says that I was fine with losing them so that makes out to me having the ability to leave them whenever I want to.

It simply does not work that way.

When someone says something and you agree with whatever they said because it might have consequences in the future, It does not mean that they're giving up easily. Simply put, It means that you're preventing whatever is going to happen in the future that might fuck you up.

I'm at fault here because I agreed to it.

It is alright to be very honest.

This is what I'm used to.

This is what I'll be dealing with throughout my life.

Being a disappointment and being disappointed.

Kendrick once said, "I look at where I'm at today and realize that most of my success is owed to the mentors that was in my life".

The funny thing is, I look at the place where I'm at today but I had the wrong mentors in life.

But fuck it.

It is what it is.

P.S., I won't be posting anything here for a while.

The only part of life that I’m used to

It’s really hard for a person to just give up everything that they’ve worked for. It’s as though you’re giving up on life when you give up on whatever hobbies and things that you do that interest you.

I might be at that point in life as of right now.

I might have to give up on certain things that give me some motivation that I’ll make it through whatever hell hole I am in but that’s alright. That’s the only thing I actually am pretty much used to in life I guess.

There is something in The Life of Pi that I can relate to a lot and it’s when Pi in the movie says that in the end, the whole of life becomes an act of letting go, but what always hurts the most is not taking a moment to say goodbye.

In my case, me saying goodbye to the things and people I like will probably be the most hurtful part.

Everything that I’ve built up was something that took place in real life. There’s a touch of something to it that makes it hard for me to let go, but when the time comes, that will be the only option I’ll have.

I will probably stop writing when that day comes and whatever legacy I’ve built up to this point will cease to exist. 

That day will be the last day that you get to see the real side of myself. 

My real side?

Whatever I’ve put down here, that’s my real side.

I will probably regret certain decisions I’ve made  but that’s alright. For someone who doesn’t have regrets, I’ll know how how it feels to have some.

The brutal truth everyone doesn’t want to hear but it’s absolutely necessary.

The brutal truth is, whatever you’ve seen that is mine will just not exist when the day comes where I have to let go and it is coming pretty soon. It’s right around the corner to put it in simpler terms.

I'm with the Homies

The past two months have been kind to me in every aspect.

The people I'm with right now are good for me. They just do not give me reasons as to why I should distance myself from them.

The only real people in my class are Chris and Shravan. They've been nothing but kind to me ever since class started. The beginning was pretty rough though. I suck at making friends but somehow, I got along with Chris and Shravan.

Shravan is the one who used to pick me up from Airlines Hotel every morning on his way to class and soon was accompanied by Chris. I reach M G Road by 6:10 in the morning and I walk to Airlines Hotel where I wait for Shravan and Chris to pick me up. They give me a call as soon as both of them have left their homes together and then they pick me up from Airlines Hotel. All three of us go together on the same scooter.

I know it's unsafe but the best part of riding together on the same scooter is the fun that we have on the way to college. We talk about random topics that pop into our head and we make fun of people on the way. Quite harsh but it's fun. Sometimes, We stop and drink some tea and sometimes we don't. We only stop to drink tea if we have enough time to reach class.

The best memory I have is when all three of us went out to Church Street to click some pictures for our photography assignment. We had too much fun that day. I wish I could go back and relive that moment again.

Sometimes when we are hungry and need something to eat and when I don't have money, Chris and Shravan will butt in so that we all can eat together. They both correct me if I'm doing something wrong and they support me to the maximum.

The best part about both of them is that they keep things real with me. They never put lipstick on a pig. They give things to me straight and that is the only way I'd like to receive things. They do not hide anything from me and neither do I.

I never expected to make any friends in college.

But, Here I am with these two other goofballs, Having fun.

I'm with the Homies.