2 Years

 It's 2025 and things have started to settle down. I've started working more and going out by myself.

I think it's necessary to take yourself out on a date sometimes. You all by yourself and no one to trouble you or set you off or annoy you. It is also when you realize the person you're going to become and it's going to make you reflect on your actions.

Was what you did right or wrong?

Was it the right decision that was made?

Are you doing enough for yourself?

The more you question yourself, the more you find out.

Besides me preaching about going out all by yourself, let's talk about 2025.

It's still January and it already feels like it's been 5 months. Time seems to be moving very slow. The weather is cold and I absolutely love that and things seemed to have gotten more boring that what it usually is. I like it this way. It makes me feel nostalgic and reminds me of when I was 10 when I had nothing else to do than eat, finish homework, play outside and sleep.

Nothing will ever beat the feeling of being 10 years old.

New Year's Resolution?

Become a better person than I was last year.

I say that because I've very ignorant of people around me. I don't even talk that much whenever I'm home as well. Only what's necessary. It does make things less complicated to deal with but it also reduces communication so that's that. It's become pretty depressing but I'm working on it.

I've still not moved on from whatever happened almost a year and a half ago. It's just stuck there and the void keeps getting bigger and bigger to the point where I think it cannot be filled. It's become a black hole of sorts now. Takes everything in but doesn't know what to do with it nor has any meaning to it. I've tried my best to make sure I move on but now it's become impossible. There's always going to be a part of whatever we had stuck in me and it's big enough to not let me explore in terms of having a partner. At some point it might let me, but until then, I'm stuck here.